Perspective seems to change everything.
For instance, at my home, we have four places to sit and relax in our backyard. This has been done deliberately because we enjoy how the view shifts ad changes. The various spots allow us to see different plants and hear various birds. Things that we really enjoy.
Each of these locations is close to one another and yet everything appears different when seen from different vantage points. In fact, everything changes pretty dramatically.
Isn’t it interesting that we sometimes forget that not everyone is sharing our grief experience in the same way that we are?
When we are grieving, we quite naturally are very focused on our pain, and what we are thinking and feeling. Again, this is natural and so very human.
And yet, even those who are closest to us are seeing and feeling things in their own way. Having very different grief experiences, unique to each of them.
At the same time, the relationship each of us had with Mike was unique.
And so was our grieving and healing.
We saw, felt, and experienced from our own perspectives. We shared some sources of support and also each had our own.
Sometimes I felt an incredible lack of support from people that I really would have expected to be there. It hurt – a lot.
A very real benefit of time and doing deep grief healing work is that it allows me to realize that each of these people was also having their own profound grief experience.
They were feeling their own grief at losing Mike and for those who did not know Mike, they were experiencing the loss of me. That was something that took a while to wrap my head around. But it’s very true. I was not showing up in the way I had in the past, I was changed. And some grieved that loss.
Perspective. It can be very interesting to take a step back and consider what others might be seeing, thinking, and feeling.
This is absolutely not to make anyone wrong or right, but rather to broaden our understanding. Because as we do so, we often find that each person is doing the very best they can as they are grieving and healing in their own way.