Grieving. A heartbreaking experience for those who are going through grief. For those doing their level best to support someone with a grieving heart, I understand full well that you are not always sure just what to say.
So very often, especially when feeling overwhelmed with the sadness and pain of grief, words do not always land with the reassurance and comfort that s intended.
Let’s not shut down conversations about grief and grieving, let’s explore further.
You’re So Strong!
There was a time, especially early in my grief when that phrase almost brought me to my knees.
Each time I heard it, it felt almost like a physical blow.
To the person who utters these words, with the best of intentions, I have a few thoughts and questions.
You say I’m strong. I say I’m grieving. Can we talk about grief and grieving?
Are you strong enough to cry with me?
Are you strong enough to witness it without trying to fix it?
Are you strong enough to understand?
Are you strong enough to be patient with me?
Are you strong enough to listen and share with me?
Are you strong enough to be there?
Are you strong enough to witness those smiles without judgment?
Are you strong enough to understand and offer compassion?
I am strong enough for all of this and so much more. There will be days of excruciating pain. Moments of grief burst. Times of incredible joy and laughter.
I am strong enough to embrace my life as it continues in a new way.
I AM strong enough to be tender, to feel the deepest sadness as well as the most exhilarating joy. And everything in between.
When you tell me that I’m very strong, I now realize that you are acknowledging me for who and what I am. Someone who is hurting deeply and has the strength to acknowledge every bit of that pain.
I am strong enough to keep breathing. I am strong enough to keep feeling. I am strong enough to grieve and to heal.
My only question my friend is this, are you strong enough to walk this path with me?
If so, we will walk arm in arm. We will sit together for hours. We may speak, cry, argue, sing, laugh, pray, or be very silent. Your companionship makes all of the difference.