I was having a conversation with someone who is very early in their grief.
They are heartbroken.
They are also feeling relieved.
Along with all of the other emotions and thoughts, they were feeling guilty about the relief they were experiencing. As though the relief somehow negated the love that is and always will be so strong for the person who has died.
As we talked, they shared about when this person was very young, and how their smile lit up the room.
They talked about the most recent time they had spent together, and how they were left with the memory of shared interest and great conversation.
They also talked about the years of fear and worry, many years as their person had struggled with mental illness and addiction in many forms, for so very long.
So many heartbreaking memories.
So much time, effort, money, and tremendous love extended, always hoping for health and happiness for this person, and yet it was not to be.
And now that life is over. And along with the profound sadness that comes along with the awareness that there will be no more hugs, there is also the awareness that there is no more struggle for the one who tried so hard.
Yes, there is a sense of relief.
And that’s okay. It’s natural. It’s normal. It’s a very real part of grief and grieving that too often, we don’t talk about.
The relief does not in any way diminish the sadness.
The relief does not in any way minimize the love.
This person trusts that the one they love is now safe on The Other Side.
No longer struggling.
No longer suffering.
No longer working so hard to battle the demons of mental illness and addiction.
They tried so hard for so long. The people who remain here as well as the one who died.
It’s okay to feel relief. It’s okay to feel grateful that the one you love is now safe and alright.
This too is part of the grief journey.
Master Grief Coach
Master Grief Coach Trainer
Greif Healing Course