Blog
Grief Support Conversation
If you have a grieving heart, join me and others for support. This group will meet via Zoom. So yes, we can see and hear one another safely. Wednesday, April 1, 2020. 6 - 7:30 pm. Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/392429421 Meeting ID: 392 429 421...
Why Are We Afraid of Grief?
originally published in Psych Central's World of Psychology blog (February 5, 2020) https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-are-we-afraid-of-grief/ After receiving news of a death, no matter our emotional state, most of us think to do at least some of these things: call...
Lists, All Sorts of Lists!
Lists. Grocery lists. Hardware store lists. Lists of places I want to visit, people I want to call. Chores that I want to do and another of the things that I feel like I need to do. Lists for my personal life, as well as professional. Yep, I'm a huge fan of lists!...
Why do I Focus on Gratitude?
White Feather Project
Find Your Peace
Today is a good day to find your peace. It doesn't matter if it is only a moment; that is how healing works. Peace grows as you seek it. Not steadily, but surely. Holidays were very painful for me for a long time, but then as I thought about my husband, I began to...
Covid-19, A New Experience for All of Us
Grief and Shock
Changes
This can be an unsettled time for those who are grieving and perhaps for everyone. The wind is blowing here. It's March. The seasons are changing. The time is even changed in the United States. All of us have probably heard about the new strain of Coronavirus that is...
Coincidence or Sign?
How do you feel about coincidence? Do you think they exist? If so, what are they about? Do you believe in signs from The Divine or from our loved ones on The Other Side? If so, what has convinced you these signs are real? My son Mike died of suicide on December 17,...
Questions and Intentions
We've talked about this before, yes, I want to talk about it again. Because so it's so very common for misunderstandings and hurt feelings to happen. https://youtu.be/wEgh1Vpsy9c
Cups of Hope series – Territory of the Mind
I write about survival, connection, and hope. That can cover a lot of territory. As a writer and a survivor who lost a loved one to suicide, there are certain things from the creative part of my life that can help me survive, reconnect, and keep hoping. One of the...
The Mourner’s Bill of Rights
A gentleman shared this with all of us at the monthly Grief Conversation and Support Group which I facilitate. As you read through these words, I encourage you to feel them out, what feels right for you? Take that which does and share it with others, especially your...
Anger and Healing
The Blurt
Grief Conversation and Support – every month
https://youtu.be/xR2o5B-I-ds
Cups of Hope series – Stuck
Is it possible to understand another person's loss? Loss is one of those words with many definitions, perhaps as many as there are endings. While there are many ways to share compassion and to commiserate with or relate to other survivors, can we really "walk a mile...
Their Truth may be Different than Your Truth
Cups of Hope series – Echoes
Is it possible to understand another person's loss? Loss is one of those words with many definitions, perhaps as many as there are endings. While there are many ways to share compassion and to commiserate with or relate to other survivors, can we really "walk a mile...
Memories
Today I was sitting in my chair, doing not much at all. Simply reminiscing I guess. I found myself looking at a few pictures that are placed around the room. A picture of my amazing husband and me, another shows my three sons as young men on the day the eldest got...
In the Beginning of Grief
Cups of Hope, a new series, part one
Have you had your cup of hope today? Meeting a friend for tea or coffee warms the heart and makes life’s burdens easier to bear. In the same way, reading comforting words and hearing about the experiences of others can help us heal after loss. Excerpts coming up in...
Grief – It’s Really All about the Love!
Sometimes when I'm working with a grief coaching client, they will ask, 'Is it okay if I don't cry every day? If I laugh at a joke or enjoy a meal with someone, does that mean I never really loved them at all?' It's a sincere question and it seems to plague so many....
Can we talk?
https://youtu.be/zuCgV0giaS4
What helps… expressing feelings through art
Guest post by Ari. What helps... expressing feelings through art After my son died I looked for ways in which to cope with the many feelings I was experiencing: sadness of course, but also guilt and anger. I couldn't sleep, walked the darkened house crying, wanting to...
Q&A series – Why Are Holidays So Hard?
by Jan McDaniel Holidays happen all year round. But why are they so hard, especially after loss? The answer to that question is both simple and complex and lies within the human brain and our experiences. After a significant loss, everything is different, but sights...
Just for Today…
Many years ago I was introduced to Reiki. This beautiful energy work changed my life in many ways. Something very profound, which has stayed with me and been very helpful to me over the years was learning about the Reiki Precepts written by Dr. Mikao Usui, the founder...
Echoes
Guest post by Ari Echoes of you... The other day as I was walking home from work I “saw” you my son. You were in front of me by half a block but I could see clearly the backpack on your back, your hoodie over your head, your slouchy jeans. I walked and watched the...
Gratitude – So Very Healing
When your heart is broken, it can sometimes feel as though nothing is right in your world. I get it! It's fair, reasonable and completely normal to feel that way. What I also know, is that in those moments of deepest sadness, it's been profoundly helpful for me to...
Connect…
Guest post by Ari. Connect... When my boy died I was left with only photos and memories. I could still hear his voice, the sound of his laughter in the house, could still feel his hug. No-one hugged me like he did – both arms around my back, his head on my shoulder,...
Healing Support for Suicide Loss – Through Grief, into Healing
This is for adults who have lost someone to suicide. Meeting with others who have experienced suicide grief is powerful and healing. Spending this time together provides a safe, respectful space to truly acknowledge your feelings and experiences... and to begin...
Welcome 2020
Today is the first day of 2020. Many have goals and plans and that's fabulous. I hope that your goals are exceeded and that your plans turn out beautifully. But what if your experience is different? If you have a grieving heart, today may feel overwhelming. As...
Q&A series: Why Can’t I Sleep?
Sleep. We need it, especially after traumatic loss, but it is often elusive. The stillness of night does not bring stillness when the mind is filled with turmoil and worry, thoughts of not only the loss but also circumstances that can be quite horrible. The nervous...
When Relationships Change or End
I've heard and read, again and again, that when one is grieving, we learn who really cares about us - they are steadfast. Beginning and end of story. No exceptions. But what if relationships end? Does it mean that no one cared? While some friends remained close, the...
Remember them …
guest column and photo by Ari I used to sit by my boy's photo and look deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes, wondering how on earth this had happened to him, to our family. There was nothing there that told me any secrets – they were bright and clear, crinkling around...
Don’t take anything Personally
As you read the title about this message, did you find yourself saying 'Okay, but grief is different. Grief is intensely personal!' I get it. Really I do. At the same time, holding on to this Agreement has allowed me to hold on to more peace and sanity than I would if...
What Your Loved Ones Can Expect While You Grieve
I was going through some old messages looking for something quite specific. What I found was a message that I had sent to a few special people about 8 weeks after my son's death. It helped me to explain my thoughts and feelings and also let some of these people know...
What if Signs from my Son are Different than I Expect?
What if the strongest signs are the very absence of things I would expect? I've been thinking about this. When we lose someone we love we look for signs that they are in spirit, that they are well and still connecting with us. We eagerly anticipate smells, sounds,...
Reiki for the Grieving Heart
Q&A series: What can I do when I need something?
People do want to help but often don’t know how. When kind friends ask what they can do to help, be prepared. Receiving the news that a loved one has ended his or her life or witnessing what happened or finding the body of someone you love is traumatic and confusing....
Communicate with Loved Ones on The Other Side
'Death ends a life, not a relationship.' - Jack Lemmon If you haven't discerned by now, I want to be very clear. I believe... no, it's much more than belief, I know that life continues after death. The truth is that or me, the very meaning of the word death is a bit...
Relax and Release Anxiety – Guided Meditation
Q&A series: When will stigma end?
I wish I could say the stigma surrounding death by suicide will end soon. I wish I could say everyone understands that people experiencing trauma and illness, stress, anxiety, and mental/personality/behavior disorders deserve our kindness and support. Maybe I can’t...
Is it Wrong to Feel Happiness when Grieving?
Ahhh, the amazing complexities of being human. So very often I will hear someone say that if they laugh or even chuckle, that they feel guilty. Somehow they feel that if they are not exhibiting intense pain at every moment - that perhaps they are not honoring their...
Heal with Your Spirit Guide – Guided Meditation
Is it True?
We have an experience. It's often quite personal, especially when it pertains to grief. Thinking or sharing about our experience is telling our story. This matters so very much! Sharing our story helps us to process. Important stuff. Is our story true? By that I mean...
Q&A series: How do I explain to my Children?
Helping Children Grieve - Children and teens of all ages feel the loss of someone important in their lives. See how you can model handling grief and provide age-appropriate activities designed to help you communicate. Take back the time you have with your children....
Sometimes We Need to Sit in the Mud
A very wise woman I know very gently reminds others, 'Sometimes you just need to spend time sitting in the mud'. And I believe she's absolutely right. When you have a heart that is grieving, you may not even realize how very exhausted you are at the end of each day......
Distant Reiki
When we Grieve a Pet
Are you a pet lover? If you've ever considered a horse, guinea pig, dog, cat or any animal your friend or even family then you well understand the special bond and steadfast love that exists between you and this amazing being. So why is it that so many are surprised...