Blog

Grief Support Conversation

If you have a grieving heart, join me and others for support. This group will meet via Zoom. So yes, we can see and hear one another safely. Wednesday, April 1, 2020. 6 - 7:30 pm. Join Zoom Meeting https://zoom.us/j/392429421 Meeting ID: 392 429 421...

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Why Are We Afraid of Grief?

originally published in Psych Central's World of Psychology blog (February 5, 2020) https://psychcentral.com/blog/why-are-we-afraid-of-grief/ After receiving news of a death, no matter our emotional state, most of us think to do at least some of these things: call...

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Lists, All Sorts of Lists!

Lists. Grocery lists. Hardware store lists. Lists of places I want to visit, people I want to call. Chores that I want to do and another of the things that I feel like I need to do. Lists for my personal life, as well as professional. Yep, I'm a huge fan of lists!...

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Find Your Peace

Today is a good day to find your peace. It doesn't matter if it is only a moment; that is how healing works. Peace grows as you seek it. Not steadily, but surely. Holidays were very painful for me for a long time, but then as I thought about my husband, I began to...

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Changes

This can be an unsettled time for those who are grieving and perhaps for everyone. The wind is blowing here. It's March. The seasons are changing. The time is even changed in the United States. All of us have probably heard about the new strain of Coronavirus that is...

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The Mourner’s Bill of Rights

A gentleman shared this with all of us at the monthly Grief Conversation and Support Group which I facilitate. As you read through these words, I encourage you to feel them out, what feels right for you? Take that which does and share it with others, especially your...

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Cups of Hope series – Echoes

Is it possible to understand another person's loss? Loss is one of those words with many definitions, perhaps as many as there are endings. While there are many ways to share compassion and to commiserate with or relate to other survivors, can we really "walk a mile...

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Memories

Today I was sitting in my chair, doing not much at all. Simply reminiscing I guess. I found myself looking at a few pictures that are placed around the room. A picture of my amazing husband and me, another shows my three sons as young men on the day the eldest got...

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What helps… expressing feelings through art

Guest post by Ari. What helps... expressing feelings through art After my son died I looked for ways in which to cope with the many feelings I was experiencing: sadness of course, but also guilt and anger. I couldn't sleep, walked the darkened house crying, wanting to...

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Q&A series – Why Are Holidays So Hard?

by Jan McDaniel Holidays happen all year round. But why are they so hard, especially after loss? The answer to that question is both simple and complex and lies within the human brain and our experiences. After a significant loss, everything is different, but sights...

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Just for Today…

Many years ago I was introduced to Reiki. This beautiful energy work changed my life in many ways. Something very profound, which has stayed with me and been very helpful to me over the years was learning about the Reiki Precepts written by Dr. Mikao Usui, the founder...

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Echoes

Guest post by Ari Echoes of you... The other day as I was walking home from work I “saw” you my son. You were in front of me by half a block but I could see clearly the backpack on your back, your hoodie over your head, your slouchy jeans. I walked and watched the...

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Gratitude – So Very Healing

When your heart is broken, it can sometimes feel as though nothing is right in your world. I get it! It's fair, reasonable and completely normal to feel that way. What I also know, is that in those moments of deepest sadness, it's been profoundly helpful for me to...

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Connect…

Guest post by Ari. Connect... When my boy died I was left with only photos and memories. I could still hear his voice, the sound of his laughter in the house, could still feel his hug. No-one hugged me like he did – both arms around my back, his head on my shoulder,...

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Welcome 2020

Today is the first day of 2020. Many have goals and plans and that's fabulous. I hope that your goals are exceeded and that your plans turn out beautifully. But what if your experience is different?   If you have a grieving heart, today may feel overwhelming. As...

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Q&A series: Why Can’t I Sleep?

Sleep. We need it, especially after traumatic loss, but it is often elusive. The stillness of night does not bring stillness when the mind is filled with turmoil and worry, thoughts of not only the loss but also circumstances that can be quite horrible. The nervous...

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When Relationships Change or End

I've heard and read, again and again, that when one is grieving, we learn who really cares about us - they are steadfast. Beginning and end of story. No exceptions. But what if relationships end? Does it mean that no one cared? While some friends remained close, the...

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Remember them …

guest column and photo by Ari I used to sit by my boy's photo and look deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes, wondering how on earth this had happened to him, to our family. There was nothing there that told me any secrets – they were bright and clear, crinkling around...

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Don’t take anything Personally

As you read the title about this message, did you find yourself saying 'Okay, but grief is different. Grief is intensely personal!' I get it. Really I do. At the same time, holding on to this Agreement has allowed me to hold on to more peace and sanity than I would if...

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Q&A series: When will stigma end?

I wish I could say the stigma surrounding death by suicide will end soon. I wish I could say everyone understands that people experiencing trauma and illness, stress, anxiety, and mental/personality/behavior disorders deserve our kindness and support. Maybe I can’t...

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Is it True?

We have an experience. It's often quite personal, especially when it pertains to grief. Thinking or sharing about our experience is telling our story. This matters so very much! Sharing our story helps us to process. Important stuff. Is our story true? By that I mean...

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When we Grieve a Pet

Are you a pet lover? If you've ever considered a horse, guinea pig, dog, cat or any animal your friend or even family then you well understand the special bond and steadfast love that exists between you and this amazing being. So why is it that so many are surprised...

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