Somewhere around the age of three or 4, people as a whole are pretty amazing. I am privileged to know a man who recognizes and appreciates just how amazing his 3 or 4-year-old son is, day in and day out.
I see this gentleman every week and I’m always impressed with how his eyes literally light up when he speaks about his wife or his 2 children. His daughter is just a baby so she delights him just by cooing and breathing. His son, on the other hand, is an entirely different kettle of fish. This man regularly shares the wisdom and the absolute joy that he receives from just playing with his little guy.
Apparently one of their favorite things to do is to play ball. Positioning themselves on their long drive, the little boy would hit the plastic ball, aiming at the tree waaaaaaaay down at the end of the drive. Dad would smile and cheer him on.
Recently all of this changed. A few weeks ago, we experienced some windy days. I don’t mean Dorothy and Toto flying off to Oz sort of windy, but pretty hefty winds just the same. You guessed it; this man and his little boy were out playing ball. The wind was at the little boy’s back so when he hit the ball the first time and it whacked the tree at the end of the drive the man wasn’t the least bit surprised. Still, he cheered his son, encouraging him to do it again and again. Which of course, the little boy accomplished easily.
Fast forward to their next playtime. The man and the boy, outside playing ball, normal weather. Still, the little boy expects to hit the tree at the end of the drive just like he did last time. And he does. Again and again. Naturally, the man continues to whoop it up, so excited for his son that he is continuously hitting his goal, the tree.
About a week or so later, it occurred to the man one day. That freaky wind that carried the ball so easily was no longer blowing. Still, his incredible little boy was regularly hitting the tree at the end of the drive. This is even more exciting! The man, however, is more clever than many might be in the situation, and he doesn’t tell his son that it was the wind that made that amazing hit possible in the first place, he simply keeps encouraging success and celebrating every hit.
No one told the little boy he could only hit the tree with the wind behind his back. So, for him, it was the simple truth that he could hit the tree. He proved it to himself and simply continued living that truth.
In 1954, Roger Bannister was the first man to prove an old truism wrong. It was believed that the human body could not run a mile in 4 minutes or less. That truism had been proven again and again since we began recording such events. But on that special day, Mr. Bannister broke the old record and made a new truism, of course, the 4-minute mile could be run and several other men accomplished the same feat in that year.
All of this matters because as human beings we are always programming ourselves. We read newspapers and yes, sometimes even books. We listen to television and radio; we speak with family, friends, and co-workers. Learning what we can and cannot do.
This is one of the reasons why life coaching and hypnotism are so very powerful. We spend part of each and every session talking about the way you talk to yourself. What words are coming out of your mouth? What ‘truth’ are you telling? We believe what we hear frequently, otherwise, TV ads wouldn’t sell us on the belief that one toothpaste is vastly superior to the other brands on the shelf. How many of us have researched our toothpaste? Not me, still I believe that one is better for my little pearlies and so I buy it regularly, even keeping back up tubes available, because I have come to believe what I have heard.
We all do it, it is human nature. This is very cool because it means that we can teach or program ourselves any way that we choose. We’re doing it anyhow, so why not do it with deliberation?
I strongly encourage my life coaching clients to speak kindly to themselves, to be deliberate in framing their words and phrases. Because it matters what they say. Not only do others hear and come to believe what words they utter, but they hear and believe as well. Repetition does that for us.
Same goes when a client is experiencing hypnotism. We share a long, interesting conversation before the actual hypnotizing happens. At least I find it interesting. I want to learn as much about the clients’ true beliefs and desires as possible. Why? Because when they are experiencing a hypnotic trance, I’m going to offer suggestions to change the clients’ life in one manner or another. If these suggestions are accepted by the client, they will become their new truth. If you’ve ever listened to a hypnotist, you will have noticed that these new truths are repeated over and over in ways that the client prefers.
For example, if I were hypnotizing myself (and I do) to release unnecessary concerns about something I would tell myself something along these lines. ‘I release concerns regarding…as I trust that all is working out as it should.’ ‘I feel more calm, more at ease regarding…feeling better and better.’ In no way would I be lying to myself, that would be totally unacceptable, I would simply be introducing a new truth. Easing into feeling better, more calm, releasing concern that is not needed. That would form my new belief and I get to relax because after all, we do live what we believe.
One of my favorite people in the world frequently tells me that I frustrate her. She tells me that everything always works out for me and that my life is just silly easy, especially compared to hers. It makes me smile, which pushes her buttons, makes me smile more…you can see where this is going I’m sure. I’ve always shared my belief that life works out well if you expect it to do so. Just that simple. And it turns out that so far my life has worked out beautifully, and I expect that it will continue that way.
That doesn’t mean I haven’t had bruises and bumps, just like she has. The difference is that she believes the bruises and bumps will be hard, painful and difficult. Guess what? She finds the normal ups and downs of life to frequently be hard, painful and difficult. I too have experienced pain and would not be surprised if life tosses a bit more my way from time to time. The man difference is that I absolutely, firmly believe that the pain will be lessened as time goes on and that I will learn from it, coming out a stronger and for me, this is the key, a happier person. That’s my belief and for my life up to this point, it’s always worked out just that way.
What do you believe about your life? How can you change up your belief just a little bit to make today better? Are you willing to see yourself hitting the tree at the end of your drive? I bet you can.
I encourage you to believe that you deserve success in whatever way you define success. This week I encourage you to believe that you deserve to be happy. This week I ask you to know that you live what you believe. Because my friend, you do.